Self Improvement and Stress

Modern man lives under the most incredible stress ever, and having to deal with this permanent enemy really does not help in being able to live a healthy lifestyle and much less does it contribute to our self improvement. We are all tired of being bombarded with all kinds of ideas and suggestions on how to get rid of our stress, but there is really no general rule to do that and there is certainly no one way to do this.

First of all, we have to identify what is it that produces the most stress in our life. Is it work? Is it our relationship or the children's behaviors? Is it the financial situation? Do we feel frustrated because we have not been able to achieve our goals at this time in our lives?

In order to concentrate on our self-improvement, we need to have the energy to do so, and stress really takes care of draining us from it, so we have to take care of stress first in order for us to continue our journey.

Something that is also of the utmost importance is our defining what self improvement means to us, since the concept does not imply the same thing to everyone. Are you considering self-improvement something having to do with an educational title or diploma? Can it be you define it as getting married and having the family you always dreamed of? Does it have to do with acquiring richness or getting to own your own company and being the boss? Is it, on the other hand, something having to do with your spirituality?

As you can see, although the above are only a few examples. self-improvement needs to be clearly defined for you before you can start trying to achieve it. It has nothing to do with what others do with the concept. When you identify yours, it becomes easier to try and save the energy you need for that and therefore, start trying to fight stress.

Are you the kind of conventional person that follows what others do because "it is the right thing to do"? Does that make you feel well or does it leave you with a sense of emptiness? Not feeling free is the most stressful experience for a human being, so sit and think about this. There are times when getting rid of these chains and all the stress they imply is the first step in our road to self improvement.

Going to places you do not want to go, doing things you do not want to do and trying so hard sometimes you forget why you are even trying and live considering you have to please everybody is a sure way to sentence yourself to self-imprisonment.

Self improvement is what you came to this planet to do, but with happiness, not stress and suffering, so make it a point at this stage of your life to analyze and define what you want to make out of it.

The author is a Doctor in Clinical Psychology, running a site and a blog related to self improvement. For more information about self improvement and self improvement, pay them a visit.

Original article

Stress Management: How Will You Respond When The Pressure Is On?

"It is not the same to talk of bulls as to be in the bullring." (Spanish Proverb) It is not the same to talk about stress management techniques as it is to test them when we are under pressure.

Stress Management works well when we have a definite plan and apply it daily. However, there are times when we get into unexpected situations, or when we face situations that are more intense than we thought they would be.

These times of unusual stress tell us how well our stress management practice works under pressure. Here is a personal example. I recently made a trip to speak for a large national association. I left prepared to give a good talk. The seminar went fine. Nearly everything else went wrong. Miami airport was shut down because of rain for two hours. Our flight was three hours late. Our luggage got lost for a day. The car rental company gave us the wrong directions to the hotel. The list kept growing. We weren't looking for problems. They found us!

On this trip, I had more opportunities in a 36 hour period to "practice what I preach" than in any other month of my life. How did I do under pressure? I'd give myself a "B" and that surprised me. I thought I could easily handle whatever came along. Normally, I do, but the sheer number of foul ups and frustrations on this trip showed me both my strengths and weaknesses. It showed me where I was very proficient in managing problems. And it showed me where I needed more work.

Repetitive frustration experiences were my biggest challenge. I had to remind myself consciously that most of what had happened was beyond my control and beyond the control of the person trying to help me. I slipped in and out of being angry or feeling aggressive. Neither emotion was functional under the circumstances. I returned from that trip committed to relook at all my personal stress management practices.

Here are five suggestions for you to consider that should help you meet the challenge of the unexpected.

1) Have a specific stress management and relaxation training program. Practice your techniques every day. Allow relaxation to become a natural habit.

2) List the events or situations that have caused you excess stress in the past. Honestly assess how you have performed under pressure in the past. What were your biggest challenges? Where and when did you perform well? Knowing your strengths and working to remove your weaknesses begins with honest self appraisal.

3) Have self confidence that you can handle whatever comes along. Realize that everything probably won't go perfectly. However, if you've set up and practiced stress management techniques regularly, they won't let you down under pressure if you remember to use them correctly.

4) If you lose your temper or become upset, focus on your breathing to regain control. Remember, your breath follows your awareness, and your awareness follows your breath. If you're angry, breathe deeply with your diaphragm. If you become depressed, try to breathe more with your chest and faster than normal. Not hyper ventilation, just a few extra times a minute. Also try to remove yourself from the situation for a minute or two while you regain your composure.

5) Keep reminding yourself, "This, too, shall pass." If a situation feels unbearable or unending, try to think of when it will be over. Focus on a positive time after the present challenge passes. The sun will rise tomorrow. The seasons will change on schedule. Life does go on.

Prepare yourself now for times of unusual pressure by practicing your stress management techniques today. Then, when you really need them, they will be there to help you through the tough times too.

Timothy J. O'Brien, MS, is the author and voice of a two-CD set titled Achieving the Dynamic Balance at http://hyperstress.com/achieving-the-dynamic-balance/. For more information, or more FREE informative articles, please visit Tim's performance improvement blog at http://hyperstress.com/.

Original article

Are You Getting Enough Sleep?

I realised as I got into bed at 12:30 am that I've been slacking on my bedtime.

Yes, I'm a night owl so my natural tendency is to work late because my brain is most awake then.

However, I work full-time so I don't have the luxury of totally living in tune with my body clock.

I used to have a rule about my bedtime and, to be honest, it still exists. I'm just not following it all that well.

I like to be sleeping by 12 so I need to be in bed by 11 since I read for an hour every night - bliss!

And here's my rule - computer off by 10:30.

I found I'd be getting to bed at least 30 minutes later when I didn't enforce my computer rule because I forgot about tidying the desk, doing my bedtime routine, etc.

So my question to you is this - are you getting enough sleep?

Most adults don't get enough sleep and we're all functioning (or not) at below-par levels of productivity and simply, life enjoyment.

Sleep helps our bodies to work better, helps us with weight loss when we're trying to lose weight and of course, helps us rest and recharge from day to day.

I need 7 hours of good sleep a night. On the weekends I get an extra hour and sometimes even an afternoon nap with my two-year-old twins.

Do you know how much sleep you need?

The other day Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project, wrote a post asking about bedtimes.

She said something interesting in that once you set a bedtime (we now know mine is 11 or 12, depending how you look at it), if you ignore that bedtime, you're then consciously choosing to do what you were doing instead of going to bed.

I love it!

So here's a coaching challenge for you:

- What is your wake-up time?

- Work back at least 7 hours. That is the time you have to be asleep by.

- How long do you need before falling asleep? Subtract the amount of hours.

- Also subtract time for your bedtime routine - face, teeth, reading, etc.

- For the next week, set an alarm or reminder in your phone or computer that says "go to bed".

- Keep track of your productivity the following day as you start getting enough sleep.

Marcia Francois is a time management coach and speaker who inspires busy women to break out of overwhelm, make the most of their time and take purposeful and focussed action so they have the time and freedom to live life to the full. Visit http://purposefultimemanagement.com/ for your free Time Management Purpose Pack.

Original article

Women in Business: Getting to Grips With the Guilt Trip

How can you possibly have a career and a personal life and not feel guilty that someone is getting short changed? Is it a no win situation which just can't be resolved? Sorry for the cliche, but it's actually a win-win situation.

First, let's take a look at your personal life. You have a lot of commitments, right? But isn't this what makes you feel connected to this earth? Commitments are a good thing - you may have a commitment to a sports team, a local school, a charity or a family matter. These commitments take you away from work, both mentally and physically. (Again, this is also a good thing which I'll come back to later). Your instinct is that your priorities are in the right place, but you still feel guilty leaving clients or colleagues with unfinished business.

Now let's take a look at your professional life. You are no doubt enjoying the challenge and collaboration of working with other adults. Knowing you, I bet you're really throwing yourself into the new job, the new role, or project. But I hear you. You're telling me that despite this job satisfaction you still do experience that tinge (or on a bad day, that pang) of guilt that you should be home having a glass of wine with your partner or reading that bedtime story with your kids.

Well, if it's any consolation we've all been there. The point is you're not alone and it's not personal - it's part of the human predicament. It's part of what defines us and you've got to stop beating yourself up about it. It's not your fault, so there's absolutely no reason why you should feel guilty!

Kate Redding, the working mom played by Sarah Jessica Parker in the film I don't know how she does it, demonstrates beautifully that so much of the guilt we experience is self-imposed. We set unrealistic expectations of what we can achieve - whether that be at home or at work. Kate seems to feel guilty about everything and as a result she seems almost scatter-brained and unfocused in almost every situation. Her guilt seems to be driving her to be uber human. (She really stoops low when she dresses up a store-bought cake as homemade for the school bake sale. She doesn't want her kids to feel like she's contributing less than the other mothers. Oh, please!). In a way we set ourselves up for feeling a sense of failure, a sense of guilt, because we can't meet a pie in the sky expectation.

Ok, so although you buy into my logic, you're still not over it.

Here's the real key to getting to grips with the guilt trip. What you have to realize is that it's because of your personal life (rather than in spite of!) that you're a better professional, a better business person. People like to deal with other people. The unique approach, values and integrity you bring to the work environment are your greatest contributions. Your uniqueness comes from your personal life, your upbringing and your personal experiences. Also having a personal life pulls you away from work - it saves you from burn-out (I saw plenty of this in my corporate life!). It allows you to break away and recharge your battery, which of course makes you more productive in the long run. Ever notice how much easier something feels once you've had that mental break?

Fine, I get all that, but I still feel guilty about not spending enough time with my partner. I feel guilty about leaving the kids. Did you ever think about how your professional life makes you an interesting person - how it broadens your perspective? Have you ever thought about how your professional life enables you to support your partner's career (you realize just how tough it is out there in the real world!). So many skills and qualities that you apply in your personal life have actually been developed in your work life. You've got it - your professional life makes you a better person - you as a partner, daughter, friend or mother. You can help your relatives and close friends get out of those tricky situations because you solve problems at work all day long!

Bottom line? Although you want perfection, just focusing on that one thing doesn't get you there either. Once you accept that you can't possibly be everywhere and do everything, and also accept that it's the varied dimensions in your life that might it worth living, you're well on the road to recovery. No more guilt. Time to enjoy life's variety!

As a former MD in Fixed Income, wife and mother of three Christine offers practical strategies on how to get the most out of your work and life. Her recently published book 'Step Aside Super Woman: Career & Family is for Any Woman' offers time-tested advice on how to create work-life balance. She is an accomplished international speaker and has been featured by the London Evening Standard, Women in Banking & Finance Magazine, Computer Weekly, WDRC 1360 AM, and many others.

Christine is also a big believer in sharing her hard-earned success strategies with professional business women which is why she set up the Women in Business Superseries with her business partner Jacqueline Frost. After 40 years' combined experience in the professional services industry, Christine & Jacqueline want to pass on what you really need to know to get ahead in business - it's about YOUR career & YOUR success. To join as a guest on the next Women in Business webinar, email christine@wibconsulting.com.

Original article

Easy Ways to Manage Stress and Strain

Stress is an elusive concept. No one knows what exactly are its causes and remedies. All that we know is its manifestations. It manifests in diverse ways in the form of increased heart beats, speedier breathing, faster sweating, cramps etc. Those physiological responses are body's combat mechanism to deal with the harm, the stress can cause.

Diverse causes induce stress. They range from ones failure to study well to achieve targets to inability to cope up with others expectations. The mismatch between one's ability, expectation and achievement is a causative of stress. There are mental causes of stress. A distorted view of reality comes under the mental causes. Even a misconception of a rope as a snake can cause stress on oneself. Ill-health, hormonal imbalance and physical ailments are biological causes. The expectation of the society and its norms, as perceived by one, comes under the category of social causes. The fear of what others would think can put one to a lot of stress. Stress cannot be dealt with when its causative is not known. Finding the real causes of stress is not at all that easy. But there are general mechanisms to deal with them.

Resorting to healthy life styles is one general way to reduce ones stress in the long run. If the person is physically fit, the stress any cause can impose on him will be minimal. Eating balanced food, doing regular exercise and having enough sleep are the essential ingredients for better health and prevention of stress. Make steamed, boiled and grilled food for better digestion and health. Avoid use of fried, unnatural and junk food,. Enhance the quantity of fibre in the food for its easy digestion and excretion. Eat fruits and vegetables more. Restrict the use of caffeine, sugar, salt etc to the minimum. Drink enough water to keep your body functioning regular and digestion perfect. Food eaten in excess can make your body environment bad for stress. Chilled fruit juices will be relaxing. There is a food-mood connection. Choose food that generates good mood. As well, eating should be relaxing.

Doing regular exercise keeps one fit and healthy. Ladies can prefer dancing as an art and exercise. Swimming is a wholesome exercise. What is called "happy hormone" (endorphin) generated during exercise works as an anti dot against stress. Exercise reduces muscular tension. It helps body's intake and use of more oxygen. That will in turn regulate ones mood and may improve overall flexibility of muscles. Yoga is much more than an exercise, if it is done systematically. Make it a routine habit to engage in singing songs or whistling tunes which can bring one to a state of mental composure. Listening to smoothening music will also help. When one laughs, all the six hundred muscles in his body will move. Laughing can reduce stress.

Meditation can offset the effect of stress. It makes one relaxed and will counter the effect of stress. Daily meditation builds ones resistance to stress and its causes. Mediation is neither the process of concentrating anything nor chanting anything at all, but a state of no thinking - absolute no-thinking. In the process of meditation, one should let his thoughts come in and go incessantly in such a way that it subsides over time. That is the right approach to meditation. Resisting a thought will make it stronger and trying to avoid it would be difficult. In a perfect meditative state, there will t be no thinking process in one's mind - it will be a composed state. Chanting a mantra and obsessing ones breathing are advised by some meditation trainers for the initial phase of meditation so as to escape from numerous unregulated thoughts coming in. There is nothing wrong in using the mantra in the in the transitional phase, but practising meditation without any mantra is the best course.

Sleep brings us rest and health. Regular and healthy sleep will reduce the chances of causing stress. Keep regular bed timing and ensure comfortable sleep environment - such as ventilation, fresh air, optimum temperature, firm bed that supports the body etc - while going to bed. Avoid stimulants like alcohol. Full stomach in the evening can make ones sleep poor. Keep yourself active during the day to get good night's sleep. Deficiency in sleep is a problem. When you don't sleep well, the chemicals in your brain get depleted and that will cause emotional disturbances. Engaging in activities that brings pleasure or relaxation is a good solution. As well, love the work that you are destined to do for your earning or choose the work that you love, so as to minimise stress.

Laughter plays a great role in releasing oneself from stress. It is a wonder medicine for your body muscles. It can brighten your mind and make you happy. Telling a joke when in distress can help row your way out of stress. Faking a smile even will be useful. Laughter reduces stress inducing hormones - nephrine and cortisol. They reduce ones unreasonable anxiety about future that may cause stress in him. Remember that future is indeterminate. One cannot alter it. But remain prepared well to deal with any possible eventuality like a soldier who keeps being prepared for a war anytime. When you get into trouble, use the situation to build your inner strength - to deal with similar situation in future.

In essence, use every adversity as an opportunity to strengthen your capability. In every adversity, there lies a new beginning. Purposeful avoidance of negative thoughts can do wonders in reducing tension. Focusing on positive thoughts is the best way to avoid negative thoughts.

K Rajasekharan
Kerala Institute of Local Administration
Thrissur
India

Original article

Is Your Life Just a Blur? Tips for a Less Hectic and More Enjoyable Life

Is Your Life Just a Blur?

Life is fast-paced. Technology helps, but it also can be used to help us cram even more into our already hectic days.

Do any of these statements describe you:

Always wishing you had more hours in your day?Wishing you could slow down, but feeling like you can't.Feeling somewhat envious of those who take time off or take vacations?Feeling driven to push yourself relentlessly and not know how to lighten up?

I am convinced that life is not meant to be a blur! We are meant to have fun, meaningful moments in our days/weeks.

You might be thinking, "sure, slowing down would be nice, but I have work (tasks to complete) to do and if I don't do it, no one else will and it won't get done..." I totally understand how this feels; and perhaps it's very valid.

The problem is, that no one is going to swoop down and take away all your 'to do's'. The reality is that you are the only one who can change the pace of your life - no one else can do it for you.

So, here are some tips to help you go from a hectic life to a more enjoyable pace.

1. The only way to slow it down is to first make that mental choice. It has to come from within you; it's choosing to:

enjoy more moments in your daypause and notice how you are feeling in that momentnot rush through your daybe o.k. with leaving some things 'undone'shift from a 'human doing' to a 'human being'

2. Become aware of your 'real' priorities. Not necessarily what you say they are; actions speak louder than words. Your priorities are what you make time for. We all find time for what truly matters to us - each of us makes time every day for what we value. If you are not finding time to relax, eat properly, sleep, or have fun... it's because those activities aren't high on your priority list. How you're spending you time now, (those activities that take up your time) are higher up on your list.

When you begin to see the value of living a life paced to accommodate spontaneity, life's simple pleasures, and the joys of truly living in the 'now', you'll notice a shift in your priorities. And, when that happens, the blur will transform into wonderful moments you can treasure.

3. Be impeccable in your personal integrity. That means, if you say you're going to slow down, then follow through. Keep your word to yourself. I'm guessing that most of the time you wouldn't think of breaking commitments you've made to clients, bosses, etc., but do you break the commitments you've made to yourself? If so, it's time to change that.

Every time you break a commitment you've made to yourself, it chips away at your self-respect and self-confidence. Why? Because you've let yourself down.

4. Get good at saying 'no' or 'I can't commit to that, but you might try...' You will get yourself over-committed if you can't turn down requests others make of you. The key to this is to realize that the world won't stop spinning if you delegate or can't get everything on your list done. Learn to assess requests; if they don't line up with your goals/priorities, then 'pass' on them. You aren't doing anyone a favor if you take on projects that you have no passion for or that you don't have time to do well.

5. Be kind to yourself instead of being a wicked taskmaster. Often times we are the ones that pile on our own workload and we are the ones that relentlessly crack the whip. We don't give ourselves breaks, time to laugh, or time to rest,... Realize that you don't have to be this way. You can choose to be kind, thoughtful, and caring towards yourself. In the end, you'll accomplish a whole lot more and feel so much better about your life.

So, now that you know what to do, here's a challenge for you this week:

Notice the pace of your life.Choose to work on one tip above that really resonates with you. If you try to work on more than that, you might end up sabotaging your success. There's always next week-you can take on another one then.

One last thought:

Life is like a wonderful meal. If you take time to eat one course at a time, you feel full and have enjoyed the experience. But, if you try to eat a 5 course meal in 5 minutes, well, you just end up wishing you hadn't!

Levya is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping busy professionals lead less stressful lives ( http://watersedgelifecoaching.com/index.html ). She helps them go from being overwhelmed and over-scheduled to enjoying a sense of well-being and balance.

Her experience as a business owner gives her an accurate understanding of the pressures professionals face and her coach training enables her to help them make sustainable changes in their lifestyles.

Using a holistic and eclectic approach, Levya designs an individualized program for each client based on their specific needs, goals, and desired outcomes.

If you are stressed and looking for relief, Levya can help you take back control of your life and make time for rest, relaxation, rejuvenation and fun (yep, fun is important too!).

If you'd like the opportunity to speak with Levya about your situation, please contact her at http://watersedgelifecoaching.com/id5.html for your complimentary initial consult.

Original article

Why So Negative?

What comes to mind when you hear the word "Stress"? How do you define the word "stress"?

I have asked hundreds of people these two questions, and the answers continue to surprise me. However, the responses always seem to fall under these four categories: people, situations, outcomes and feelings.

People often define the word stress associated with a specific individual, symptoms of stress, causes or a situation they have experienced, the results or outcomes of stress, or by feelings related to stress. Rarely do I hear an actual definition of stress.

Let's look at how people define it, and then explore some more theoretical definitions of stress. The following is a list of common answers I hear related to these questions.

Stress is...

People: Such as our supervisor, a team member, family member, neighbour, or _____(name)

Situations: Money, role confusion, change, conflict and disagreement, no down time, feeling inadequate or having unrealistic expectations can all be situational stressors. Dealing with negative people, unnecessary, relationship issues, parenting, marriage, or loss are also stressful situations.

Outcomes: Dissention, strained relationships, unresolved conflict, and the increased stress from these cause us more and more stress.

Feelings: Frustration, exaggerated emotion, pain, being tired, or feeling confused.

As you see, most of the responses are described in a negative way. However, stress in and of itself is not negative. Simply put, stress can be defined as any external events that have an effect on your body or mind. Stress can also be understood as the body's reaction to a change or event that requires either a physical, mental or emotional coping or response. Stress is the result of different stressors faced in life, sort of like the wear and tear on one's body from simply living.

The stress reaction is the result of a release of adrenaline (a stimulant hormone) as it enters the blood stream. This, along with other stress hormones, results in a number of physiological changes in the body (which are intended to be protective in nature). This is referred to as "the fight-or-flight response" because it provides both the strength and energy to either fight the situation or flee from danger. The physiological changes could include any or all of the following: an increase in heart rate and blood pressure (to get more blood to the major muscles, brain and heart), rapid breathing (to take in more oxygen), a tensing and tightening of muscles (preparation for action), increased mental alertness/sharpness and sensitivity of sense organs (to assess the situation and respond quickly), increased blood flow to the brain, heart and muscles and less blood to the skin, digestive tract, kidneys and liver (where it is least needed in times of crisis).

Think about a time where you experienced stress. Driving a vehicle is a great example. Picture this: you are driving along listening to your favourite music, noticing some new buildings going up along the highway. Shifting your gaze back to the road, you look forward and realize the front of your vehicle is almost in the car in front of you. Slamming on your brakes, you avoid the accident. Your heart is racing, your breathing is more rapid, and thoughts may be racing through your head. That is an example of the stress reaction with physiological reactions, similar to when we are in conflict or experiencing a stressful situation at work.

The key to managing stress is recognizing the triggers that cause you stress and finding ways that work for you to control your response to those triggers. This won't be the same for everybody so you will need to really pay attention to your environment and how you are responding to the people, situations, outcomes, and feelings produced by your daily interactions.

Charmaine Hammond, MA, BA, is an international transformational speaker, bestselling author and radio host, helping people live inspired, resilient lives and is a leading trainer in corporate North America helping transform workplaces. She is also an award winning and bestselling author of On Toby's Terms (Bettie Youngs Books, Sept. 2010), Toby the Pet Therapy Dog - and his hospital friends (Bettie Youngs Books, Aug. 2011), and Bounce Forward, and has been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul-What I learned from the dog (Sept. 2009). She is also co-authoring a new book GPS Your Best Life. You can find all that Charmaine offers at http://www.hammondgroup.biz/ and http://www.ontobysterms.com/

Original article

Stress Management - Celebrate Your Wonderful Feet, They Do Feats to Manage Your Stress

Some people think that the first place on your body to start reducing the effects of stress is your head; I beg to differ, because you should start with your feet. Why your feet read on and find out.

It is true that you need to feel that you have to think calming thoughts, check your attitude to make sure it is positive and enthusiastic, and know that you are the only person that can consistently make you happy, but you cannot achieve these things when your feet hurt.

Your feet are a very important part of your body and your life. They also play a big part in your lifestyle as well. Let us look at the reasons why you should celebrate your feet.

First of all you take them way too much for granted. Think about how many times you walk or run around bare footed. Also think about the times you have stood on them for long periods of time, remember that your back seemed to hurt far worse than your feet.

Let me suggest that you spend a day and honor and care for them.

Why, because your feet are amazing. For instance, they get you where you want to go. While you are stressed out rushing from place to place or helping, you drive your car. Those of us who drive a car with a manual transmission knows how much work your feet does working the clutch. Frequently your feet do overtime, have you noticed that even when you are sitting down relaxing your feet are on the floor or stretched out in front of your legs in the same flat position as they always are.

Your feet take an incredible amount of abuse. Just think about how many times you have stuffed them into fashionable shoes that you wore for hours or walked for a long time in unsupported sandals. Not to mention the times you walked out of the cool water pool onto the hot cement poolside. Then there are the toe rings you wear to be trendy and fashionable as well.

Yet your feet rarely complain (except for an occasional blistering protest).

Why not start today and give something back to your feet. Treat them to a massage, which you can do by yourself or have some one you love do it for you. Stretch them out, flex them and exercise them, they will feel great and so will you. Take time to clean them up, lotion and soften the heels, rub away the little calluses that are there too. Clip the nails and gently file them if necessary, be gentle and kind to your feet. It maybe time to splurge on a pedicure, a comfortable pair of new shoes, or soft slippers.

Think how vital your feet are, so time and investment will keep you and your feet stress relieved for a very long time. Remember how skillfully they hold you up, shuttle you around, and perform countless incredible "feats". Be grateful for your feet.

From this day on, appreciate the wonderful gifts that are your feet. In addition, all the possibilities they bring to your life. This is yet another way to manage your stress using natural solutions.

Ellen R Norman is an expert in stress management using natural solutions.
She teaches people like yourself how to regain control of your life by reducing and relieving stress.
Visit http://www.stressmanagementnaturalsolutions.com/ and subscribe to get your newsletter and a free gift.

Original article

A Worry-Free Life

Worry is a very powerful sensation of stress. It's fear of the unknown - the thought that the worst will happen. It is the feeling of uneasiness and fear that courses through our body, as we sit imagining the fearful outcomes the future will bring us. It's a very nauseating and actually unpleasant feeling.

Most of us worry without any conscious control, almost on automatic function. Below are some reasons why we worry.

• Our mind is trained to keep doing something; it can never relax so if it can do nothing about a situation it will just worry about it.
• When we discover that we are not in a location to take any definite measures, we allow ourselves to worry out of habit.
• Worrying almost becomes a means of keeping the mind filled while it waits for the future to arrive.
• Because we are never certain about what our future will bring us.

When you are in the habit of continuous worrying it simply leaves a little space for any creative solution to come through. Excessive worrying is very stressful and harmful to our body. Illnesses like anxious conditions, heart disease and bowel problems are brought on more in people who are regularly burdened out because of their obsessive worrying.

Tips to reduce worrying.

• Future can never be predicted, so quit trying. People who greatly recognize this simple fact of life, live in surrender to what is. They never try to assume the future; they just create some realistic plans. The more you try to control the more you will suffer. Worrying provides no objective at all except to make you feel ill.
• Prepare for the worst. Hope for the best. Take the toughest possible result and then take measures to improve upon the worst.
• Live by the moment. There is no reality to the images you create in your thoughts about the long run. Look back on your life and see how many things you worried about really occurred.
• Get Busy. When you are starting to get worried - get busy on your to-do-list. List your goals and the actions required to meet them.
• Distract Yourself. Call a friend, watch a funny movie, read a good book, or take a walk at the park. There are a lot of things to do.
• Practice Relaxing. It is important that you take time to completely relax. Close your eyes breathe deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth. With each breathe, tell yourself to relax. It just requires a few moments of this exercise for stress to leave your body.
• Write a journal. After writing down everything that worries you in a journal, somehow, you will feel a sense of relief. In writing you may discover what you are really reluctant of, and then you can logically think of a solution.

If your efforts are not effective or your worry is distressing you or making it difficult to take it easy and achieve your objectives, search for professional help.

L. Lomboy is a stop worrying expert. For more great information on stop worrying start living, visit http://www.techniquestostopworrying.com/.

Original article

3 Road Rage Dangers to Avoid

Everyday there is an incident of road rage. There are many dangers in road rage that can be avoided. When road rage occurs, it happens as an immediate or sometimes as a pressure building response to a situation.

Some causes of road rage are as follows:

1. Flying off the handle when someone cuts you off while driving
2. Someone passes you and honk their horn
3. Someone will not let you pass
4. A driver gets in front of you and puts on the breaks or stops short in front of you
5. A driver won't let you in or yield getting on the expressway
6. A slow driver in front of you, under the speed limit
7. Distracted driver in front of you talking on the cell phone, putting on make up, eating or talking to someone else in the car.
8. You are late for an appointment or work
9. Someone gives you the finger or shoots a bird and you let it upset you.
10. You had and argument or fight with a family member, friend or co-worker and you are still thinking about it while driving and you decide to take it out on some other driver
11. The big 18 wheeler rigs or tractor-trailer trucks makes you nervous.

Three dangers of road rage to avoid are:

1. Car accidents
If you are stressed before driving or if you are distracted while driving this can cause an accident. Thinking about what is going around you and putting your feelings or emotions in balance may alleviate an accident from happening.

2. Violent Physical confrontations
If you become so enraged that you decide to get out of the car to fight with the other driver or if you decide you want to shoot at the person with a weapon, this is grossly unlawful and can be avoided by calming down and then realizing the situation you are in. Ask yourself this question. Is it worth going to jail? Is it worth harming a person or losing a life?

3. Emotional or mental anguish
If you are so overwhelmed by one of the causes of road rage and you become so stressed that you start cursing and being out of control, think to yourself aloud and remind your self that life is too short to be wasted on trivial issues that can be avoided.

No one wins in any of the three situations. Usually by the time you reach your destination, you would have forgotten the incident. If someone were to ask you about a year from now, I doubt if you would remember the exact details unless it was life threatening.

In order to recover yourself mentally and physically after becoming so enraged you usually have to walk away from the situation and calm down. Also to avoid the dangers of road rage, think before you act by not letting your emotions get out of control while driving.

Original article

What Is the Cost of Stress to You Personally?

Have you ever felt so stressed you just wanted to escape your life? Do you toss and turn at night thinking about everything you feel you need to do? Are you noticing you've put on some extra pounds because you are 'too busy' to exercise? Or, have you snapped at your child and then felt awful for over-reacting? If you are feeling this kind of stress, know there is help for you.

The world we live in is becoming increasingly busy with demands facing us in all areas of our lives. Add technology to the mix and we are now 'on' 24/7. We have turned into multitasking machines, but the reality is we are still human beings and we all have our limits. The race is on - we are trying to be quicker and do more than the next person - to be the best. But, our lives are like marathons and there is no way you win a marathon doing a full sprint the whole way!

We need breaks. We need to pace ourselves. We need to listen to our bodies and our minds. But, the problem is many of us over the years have been conditioned to not listen to what is going on within ourselves, but to put more emphasis on the feedback given to us from the outside world.

It seems to me that at least once a week, I have a client express to me that he/she feels like it is impossible to lead while maintaining peace and balance in his/her life. Like it is a choice - your life or your job! From my executive experience, I strongly disagree. In fact, I think the more balance and clarity you have in your life, the better you are as a leader. Sure, there is no doubt that being a successful professional requires hard work. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. The key is tapping into your passion and working at something you enjoy.

I strongly believe there is a missing piece here for executives and their corporations. Think about it...as you climbed your way up the corporate ladder, you were likely offered management or technical courses to help prepare you for each position. But have you ever been offered a management program specializing in stress management designed for leaders? Management programs can be great, but they never include any content about preparing managers and leaders to face the accelerated levels of stress that are part of their every day lives as executives.

Not only will leaders be more relaxed and positive around their staff if they are able to better manage their stress (which will positively impact your overall culture), but they will be more clear-minded and focused, making them more effective decision makers. Leaders have a lot of pressure, they really need more than the occasional vacation to unwind. They need to learn tools they can put into practice every day to help prevent burnout before it begins to take control (of their careers) and can thus affect your bottom line when these individuals burnout, go on stress leave or leave your organization to go somewhere else in hopes it will be a change of pace for them.

Make 2012 the year you invest in yourself. Don't waste any more precious time living a life that is second best when you know deep down inside you are capable of so much more.

Carey-Ann Oestreicher, MBA, Chief Engagement Officer for Potential Unlimited, works with companies and individuals around the world to tap into their full potential. Her unique holistic approach to leadership development has made her a highly sought after keynote speaker. She frequently appears in a variety of national media. Carey-Ann's passion is her family and helping others find new heights in their careers and happiness in their lives.

Potential Unlimited offers a wellness retreat specific to leader called The Ultimate Retreat. Check out http://www.potentialunlimited.ca/ to find out more about this life-changing experience!

Original article

Daily Stress - How to Prevent Petty Dramas From Grinding Away Your Happiness

Sometimes it takes something traumatic to make us see that most of the stuff we are so worried about isn't important at all.

My son recently broke the bones in his forearm. Snapped them right in two. I hear shouts, and I look outside to see my son holding his arm up at the elbow, but a few inches down his arm dangles there like a broken tree branch, limp and lifeless.

For a moment, I am puzzled. How does a person suffer that kind of injury and yet be standing in front of me, talking? How is he not on the ground unconscious or - at the very least - shrieking? How is he simply there, staring at me, with a wrinkled brow and the same bewildered expression that I must be giving him?

Before we heard my son's call, my husband and I had been inside, hashing out all of the dramas of daily life: birthday party plans, income tax payments, redecorating decisions, vacation ideas, what to do about our money and the lack thereof.

We can all probably remember a time when we were engulfed in our own worries and then were suddenly and summarily shaken free by something. Often it's some sort of news, usually bad, which puts everything immediately into perspective. We forget everything else while we get on with the business of surviving.

I wish I could live, all the time, with that sort of acute understanding of what's really important. Doing so would help me to slow down, to appreciate those around me, to bond more deeply with others, to live from a place of love and kindness rather than sinking, as I sometimes do, into pettiness and spite.

And just as a true drama makes us sit up and take notice of what's important in our lives, it also informs us of ways to get through the little daily things we have to deal with: things that can pile up and be more wearying than those big, adrenaline-charged catastrophes.

Since my son's accident, I feel as though I've been using the big drama in my life to teach me how to better cope with the tiny, daily dramas.

Here's what I've been doing:

1. It helps me, in dramas large and small, to make the sound of the ocean with my breath. Whenever I need to focus on my breath, it calms me so much to make that deep, resonant whisper sound the way they teach you to do in yoga class. I direct my breath at the back of my throat, and listen to the sound of the force and power of my own breathing, there inside my head.

I imagine sitting near the ocean with my feet in the sand and the sun sizzling my skin and the scent of salt and earth and the rhythmic, predictable ebb and flow of the ocean. This helps me recognize, in case I'd forgotten, that my body and my mind are made of the same stuff as this ground and this ocean and that I have the power and the resources to get through whatever it is. What's more, I can help others get through it.

2. Of course, breathing will only get you so far. At some point, you have to stand up and do what needs to be done. Doing something - anything - can help you stop idly thinking and ruminating and dramatizing, which rarely comes to good end.

At times, the best thing to do is ignore the problem and go about your day. At times, the best thing to do is to look at just a tiny portion of the problem - and do what you can. In Bird By Bird, Anne Lamott gives the budding writer some advice: keep a one-inch picture frame on your desk to remind you that, really, all you need to do is focus on a bit, a snippet, of the whole story. Just "fill the frame," she says, and don't worry about the rest just now.

I find that this really works, in writing and in life. It's one of the easiest ways to prevent the crushing, motivation-sucking feeling of overwhelm. As you go along in your day, all you need to do is focus on one little bit of the problem. Look at what you can do today, right now, to help yourself.

Sometimes that's as simple as smiling at the next person who walks by, as simple as doing something unexpected and kind for yourself or others. Sometimes it's just sucking it up and making the phone call you've been dreading. Just dial the number, and take it one one-by-inch frame at a time.

3. Change your mind. The ability to adopt a more positive mental outlook in any situation is a skill that serves us well in all the years of our lives. It's stale advice, I suppose, to suggest that you focus on your gratitudes, but it's during moments of Big Drama when you realize how powerful this advice really is.

As my son lies in the emergency room, for example, I think about the magnificence of a country where my son can break his arm in two and, within an hour or two, be fixed with plates, pins and screws by a highly trained specialist in a sterile environment. And, while we wait, a team of other caregivers will make sure my son is as comfortable as possible, using physical, emotional, and pharmaceutical means. Highly educated, caring people will stand by and monitor him to make sure his condition and pain don't further deterioriate. That's amazing. Truly, ridiculously amazing.

There are so many things to be grateful for in all of our lives. All the time. Spending five minutes to focus on these simple, wonderful always-taken-for-granted things during moments of high (or low, constant) drama will almost always make us feel better.

Each time I undergo a family crisis or a health scare, it's the little simple things that wake me up to the love I have for the entire world. Things like the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. My ability to run and my ability to stretch and smile and embrace.

Even the gift of a familiar routine - baking a casserole or a loaf of pumpkin bread for someone who's hurting or doing the dishes and helping with chores after a friend has suffered a tragedy. Each of these things is a blessed little gift, if we recognize it as such.

If you need help visualizing these items, make a collage of things that make you happy and make you smile. Take 10 minutes right now and make a list of things that make you want to jump for joy. Simple things. My list includes everything from reruns of Seinfeld and My Name is Earl to the ability to get out in the woods and run with a friend for an hour. Also on the list: peach ice cream, pomegranates and really good hand lotion.

Keep your list or collage of simply-happy-things close to your heart. You are luckier than you know and more loved than you can imagine.

Susanna Grace writes an inspirational blog at SusannaGrace.com. She'd love to get to know you, so please visit her site and follow Susanna Grace on Twitter.

Original article

Does This Serve Any Purpose? An Interesting Exercise

Here is an interesting exercise to try for a week. With every action you take, ask yourself, "Does this serve any purpose?" Whether you're reading, working, eating, resting exercising, whatever the activity, ask yourself the question. Be honest with your answers.

This exercise can help us in several ways. It will immediately make us more aware in the present moment. We will focus better on our current activities. It will help us see how much of our life has become habit, crutch, or ritual.

Many of the activities in our life were functional and served a purpose at one time. However, being the creatures of habit that we are, we often forget to stop the behavior once its usefulness has passed.

This adds clutter to our life. It adds to the feeling that most of us have that there is too much to do and too little time to do it in. This feeling is a major cause of stress. When we feel overworked, under pressure, or out of control, the stress-o-meter needle can move into the danger zone.

Asking ourselves, "Does what we do serve a purpose?" can also be a disquieting experience. If we are honest, most of us will have to admit that some of what we do isn't very functional. Some things might even be destructive behavior like smoking, heavy alcohol consumption, or the misuse of prescription drugs.

By asking yourself the question, "Does this serve any purpose?" you can do some mental, emotional, and maybe even some physical "house cleaning." This will give you three immediate benefits. You will save time that you can re-deploy to yourself or another more productive and rewarding activity. Self-honesty usually brings relief. We feel good when we recognize, admit, and correct a non-functional behavior pattern.

Your stress level should go down. With more time, and greater self-understanding, you should feel more in control and less pressured.

Be systematic when you ask yourself the question. Take notes. Don't allow any aspect of your life to escape. Everything must explain itself. Be careful here. Don't use this exercise as an opportunity to be harsh on yourself. Don't use your honest answers as anything other than a tool to help you feel more in control and happier with yourself.

You will probably find that the answer to the question often will often be, "Yes, this does serve a purpose." Write that down in your notebook also. Write out the activity. Write down why you perform it, why you like it, and how it adds dimension and purpose to your life. This will help you feel better about your life. During your questioning and the writing down of your answers, you will find areas of strong, positive feelings. List what you feel dedicated to. List what you feel responsible for, and why you feel that way.

Make sure that the answers are your answers: that the what, why and how are yours and not what others have told you they should be. Follow the exercise for a week. Then do it once every six months to make sure you stay on target toward becoming an ever happier you.

Timothy J. O'Brien, MS, is the author and voice of a two-CD set titled Achieving the Dynamic Balance at http://hyperstress.com/achieving-the-dynamic-balance/. For more information, or more FREE informative articles, please visit Tim's performance improvement blog at http://hyperstress.com/.

Original article

Is Anybody Listening?

One common stressor is the feeling that we are trying to get others to understand our needs and our points of view, but somehow, no matter how hard we try, the message isn't getting through.

The solution to this stress? Try to understand the needs of your listener; then shape your communication to meet those needs.

In an old sitcom, Archie Bunker stated: "Edith, do you know why we can't communicate? Because I'm talking in English, and you're listening in DINGBAT!"

Archie Bunker had a point: a major frustration in life is the realization that we are not being heard. His explanation was also typical: it must be your fault if you don't understand me.

A good rule to remember is that everyone is tuned into Station WII:FM: What's in it for me? Each of us filters information beamed towards us in terms the kinds of information we want and need, and the possible threat that may be posed for us. The ability to analyze the communication styles of others allows you to plan your communications so that they will be received and understood.

Here is a brief rundown on four different normal types of people, and what they need to hear in order to pay attention to a communication.

The DOMINANT, take-charge type, likes challenges and speedy movement towards a well-defined goal. Dominant types are better speakers than listeners. Such people give new meaning to the terms "brief" and "concise."

A phone call from a Dominant is likely to consist of a quick message: "I can't meet you at I p.m. It'll have to be at 1:45." And belatedly, "This is Don. How are you?" The speaker may then hang up without waiting for an answer.

A communication to a dominant person should move quickly to the bottom line: what is the proposed plan, what is his or her involvement? Avoid at all costs the following: a long introduction to the topic (trigger impatience and lack of attention in this listener), entertaining anecdotes (arouse suspicion - "Why are you trying to con me"), and detailed presentations of data on the pros and cons ("You should have thought this out on your own time and come to me with a brief, clear proposal").

ENTHUSIASTIC OPTIMISTS are animated, optimistic, and very sociable people. Charming and entertaining others is a major goal of this very likable type. They make charismatic leaders, teachers, preachers, and super salespeople.

Major threats to this type include the possibility of personal rejection, or a negative reaction to one of their proposals. The result? Enthusiastic Optimists, when squelched, have an out-of-body experience. In their imaginations, they travel to another, pleasanter planet where your voice is not being heard.

When your Enthusiastically Optimistic listener's eyes glaze over, it is a distinct possibility you are not being heard.

Take time, if possible, to listen, socialize and empathize with the feelings of the Enthusiastic Optimist. You will save time in the long run. Present negative information as if it is one of an array of possibilities.

HARMONIOUS TEAMWORKERS are even-tempered, loyal friends and co-workers. In their conversations, they often use the word "we" where others might use "I": 'We went to a movie last night," "'We didn't like that restaurant."

People who reflect this style tend to speak in pleasant, well-modulated voices, and expect others to do the same. They are made very uncomfortable by forceful tones and language, as used by the Dominant types, or the rising and falling inflections and volume of the Enthusiastic Optimist, interpreting such vocal changes as being threatening.

Harmonious Teamworkers tend to avoidanything unpleasant, and will consequently avoid listening to overly forceful communication.

CAREFUL INDEPENDENTS are detail-oriented, conscientious types who prefer to work alone, and indeed need a certain amount of solitude in order to be comfortable.

Communications beamed towards Careful Independents should be worded cautiously, with respect for detail. Avoid emotion-laden phrases and attempts at persuasion; simply present the facts to which you wish them to pay attention.

Don't necessarily expect an immediate reply or reaction to your communication. Listeners might be compared to cameras: some zoom in on a specific topic, while others use a wide-angle lens to take in many details simultaneously. The Dominants and Enthusiastic Optimists zoom in on topics which are important to them, react quickly and make decisions accordingly. Harmonious Teamworkers and Careful Independents survey the entire situation, often contemplating several points of view simultaneously. This type of information processing demands time for reflection before reaction. Pressing them for a response too quickly will result in irritation and resistance to any suggestion being presented by the speaker.

Of course, communication style can vary by situation; people often don't use the same style at home and at work, for example, and level of stress can play a factor also. Plus, don't forget that there is a strong relationship between power, communication, income level, and status in the community. However, studying these four listening styles will greatly enhance the power of your communications, and increase the possibility of actually being heard!

Lynette Crane, M.A.(Psychology) and Certified Life Coach,is a Minneapolis-based speaker, writer, and coach. She has more than 30 years' experience in the field of stress management. She currently works to provide stress and time pressure solutions to harried women, those women who seek "Islands of Peace" in their overly-busy lives. Her talks to groups of what she calls "harried women" are receiving rave reviews. Visit her website at http://www.creativelifechanges.com/ to see more in-depth articles and to view her programs.

Original article

Stress and The Sexes

"Stress, you want to talk about stress? You have no idea what stress is. What I have to deal with every day at work, so I can put food on the table, keep us in a place to live and afford our cars, clothes and life, is killing me! You couldn't handle one day of my level of stress." He says.

"I'd like to see you try to do all the things that I do on a daily basis. You have NO clue! I run my business keep the house up, cook for you and the kids, run the kids around and deal with our families. You do NONE of that. All you have is work and could never deal with all the different things I have to do on a daily basis!" She says.

Are some of you thinking, "Has he been spying on us?" No, it's not you, it's all of us. We all deal with these type of issues with our significant others. What we all want is a better quality of life. Working hard, very hard, and getting yourself all stressed out, is not what life or entrepreneurship is about. Most of us don't deal with stress well and it is not good for any of us or our loved ones. Please remember my core philosophy of being a Business Owner: "Your business exists to provide you the lifestyle you desire." That means that we need to know what we desire and we have to enjoy the journey to getting there. If success if "final achievement" and that is when you are going to enjoy your success, then you are missing out on all the joys of the successes you have along the way. You do not want your journey to create more stress.

Let's first define, "more stress." There are two meanings to the word "more" in this context. More can mean number of stressors or it can mean level of stress, no matter how many stressors exist.

Women and Stress

In one of the research studies we looked at, (Polaris Marketing Research) women reported financial issues, lack of time, family problems, living situation and relationship issues as causing them stress. As a general rule women tend to deal with more stressors than men. Women have stressors such as: kids, family activity logistics, household management, cooking, shopping, husband, sex, life. What's interesting is although women deal with more stressors they also tend to be better at managing their stress. Women will talk over their issues with their friends, they more likely to sleep, listen to music, surf the Internet, socialize, read a book, or eat their favorite 'comfort foods.' Researchers from UCLA analyzed data from hundreds of biological and behavioral studies (both human and animal), they concluded that females were more likely to deal with stress by "tending and befriending" -- that is, nurturing those around them and reaching out to others.

Men and Stress

Men said that work was their main stressor. Men's top 6 stressors are: work, work, work, wife, wife, wife. (Men are not quite sure which is more stressful...however, "Happy wife, happy life" is our motto.) So what this means is that women tend to have more varied responsibility but men feel a greater need provide (financially) and keep themselves solely focused on bringing home the bacon. In terms of relieving stress, men were significantly higher in only one category, (and yes, this is embarrassing) playing video games. Men will go off by themselves to their stress relieving activity of choice. When stress get's to be too much their "fight or flight" response kicks in. Opposite of the "tend and befriend" strategy, mentioned above. (So why can't men and women get along well under times of stress?)

Men, Women and Stress

However, both men and women rated, "watching television" as their number one reliever of stress. Men and women's different reactions to stress might be more than just an interesting observation; it could account for differences in their longevity and health. "Women enjoy a greater life expectancy than men," says Shelley E. Taylor, PhD, a professor of psychology at UCLA and lead author of the study. "One reason may be that the tend-and-befriend system protects them from some of the damaging effects of stress." Not good gentlemen, not good.

Hormone's May Be To Blame

Researchers found that all signs point largely to oxytocin, a hormone that promotes both maternal and social behavior and enhances relaxation, as the key factor behind the gender difference.

When faced with stress, the body releases a number of different hormones, says Redford Williams, MD, director of the Behavioral Medicine Research Center at Duke University in Durham, N.C. Some of these hormones, notably cortisol and adrenaline, raise blood pressure and cholesterol levels and suppress the immune system, putting "often stressed" people at greater risk for everything from colds to cancer to heart disease. Some research also suggests that constant, long-term exposure to stress can lead to weight gain thanks to elevated cortisol levels.

Initially, women have the same response to stress as men, leaving them somewhat vulnerable to cortisol and adrenaline. But then women also begin secreting oxytocin from the pituitary gland, which helps scale back the production of cortisol and adrenaline, minimizing their harmful effects.

Interestingly, men also secrete oxytocin when under stress, but they produce it in lesser amounts than women do, and its effects are inhibited by male hormones such as testosterone.

The more relaxed behavior that oxytocin promotes also seems to offer some protection of its own. "Hostility has been shown over and over again to be health-damaging," says Williams. As another example of how women's convivial nature may be protective, William cites the fact that an older man's chance of dying after the death of his spouse rises substantially while a woman's risk increases only slightly. "That's probably because women access a social network to help them get through the ordeal."

So women can live longer without their mate, but men fall apart and die....very nice. Gentlemen treat your woman right or die of stress....I think that is the point of this article. Go figya!

Frank J. De Raffele Jr. is the Founder & President of Entrepreneurial Excellence Worldwide, Inc. He is the Co-Author of the #1 Best Seller, Business Networking and Sex: Not what you think., and he speaks to entrepreneurs, franchise owners and corporations around the world.
http://www.Follr.me/FrankDeRaffele

Original article

Trust in Your Prayers

Raising a 17-year-old boy is no picnic. I am sure I am not saying anything that has not been said or experienced before, but I thought I would write about it and better explain my viewpoint. Being a single dad and raising my youngest of four children has been exhilarating as well as exhausting. I love my son with all my heart and when I stop and think about it, he is a really good kid. So then, what's the problem-right? Well, that's just it, maybe there is no problem at all.

Everything that my child does, good or not so good is in perfect balance with what any 17 year old would be doing. His grades are upper middle of the road but certainly not where they could be. His car looks like a hurricane hit it on the inside, and of course trying to get him to comprehend the price of gas, is a complete waste of my time. On the other hand, he is not strung out on drugs, he has not missed one day of school this year, and he never texts while he drives. So where's the problem, right?

OK, I admit it, the problem is with me. I am the one with the issues. I am the one who seems to have an open door policy for the devil to walk in at anytime and confuse the hell out of me or better still make we worry myself crazy. Until the other day, when that all changed.

I was reading a book and my son came out of his room and asked if he could go over to his friend's house and ride his skateboard around the smoothly paved streets of his buddies neighborhood. My first reaction was "sure, why not" until I remembered that his friend's house was near some old friends that were always up to no good. I started to think, and then began to worry. What if he runs into those guys? What if he falls prey to the drugs and other stuff that is sure to be present? My mind was racing 100 miles an hour all in 2 minutes. When I finally snapped out of it, I looked up and my son is starring me right in the face. Again he's asking, can I go dad, can I go?

Before I could answer, he looked me in the eye face to face with his loving peaceful and ever so innocent eyes and said "Dad, worry is a sin" I was floored! This child had just grown up right before my eyes. As parents we are always looking to lead our children but sometimes we get so caught up in life that we miss it and its our children that bring us back on track.

My son left that day a responsible young man who understood the weight of a parent. I am sure he will make his share of mistakes and there will be many more teaching moments from me as we go along, but on that day, I was the student. What I learned is that fear and worry indeed do cancel out all prayer. You can't have it both ways. I would pray my heart out and then immediately afterwards be in a complete trance of worry. So much, that I would feel frozen and helpless. This is no way to live.

Worry is a sin, and I have since learned to believe in my prayers. When I ask God to watch over my children, I must trust that he will. I can no longer ask for help and the take away his power. The last couple of weeks my life has been so much more at peace. The Lord has certainly come through for me and taken care of things that seemingly I could not. If you are one who struggles with constant fear and worry, take a break and cast your cares. God will handle your load and allow you to relax and just be at peace. I promise you it works, just ask my child. The choice is within.

B. Patrick Lewis, is a trained Chef, Author and Speaker. Check out his new book 'In the Weeds" and other articles at http://choicewithin.com/

Original article

HeartMath - The Power of Your Heart to Heal

In my quest to learn more about how I can regulate my blood pressure, I was recommended to look into HeartMath and came across a book about HeartMath and Hypertension. I had stumbled on HeartMath years ago but it never resonated with me, now it does.

Fundamentally it is about the power of your heart to handle the stresses in life, and by doing so, changes your brain chemistry and in turn helps with your immune system, your emotions, and how you cope with stress.

There are biofeedback devices you can buy but I like the simplicity of these exercises. Before I would have thought they were boring and simple and wouldn't possibly make much of a difference. Now I think differently.

Having cleared out a bulk lot of trapped emotions from my heart wall using the Emotion Code, which had helped me to even feel my heart and want to reside in that space for any length of time, I felt the power of my heart even more.

I like Greg Braden's description of why the heart is so powerful at healing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8dKcvROnl4

Here's 3 techniques to use, do this multiple times a day in order to change the neural pathways in your brain from one of being stressful, to one of responding automatically in a calmer state. Preferably use all these techniques together.

Heart Focus

Move your attention away from your mind chatter and what's going on out there, and shift the focus to your heart.

Heart Breathing

Imagine you are slowly breathing in and out through your heart. Starting to slow your breathing down, counting to 6 in, and 6 out. Now forget the counting and just focus on the air going in and out of your heart. Start to slowly disengage from your stressful thoughts and just notice the breathing through your heart.

Heart Feeling

Intentionally generate sincere positive emotions of care, appreciation, gratitude and love. Make sure you feel it, not just think it. Send this feeling out to yourself and to others. Perhaps family members, or your pets. Make it so It's easy to send out, meaning, don't think of people you struggle to love.

These feelings go up to your amygdala and then affect your frontal brain overriding the negative emotions that cause stress.

The more you do this throughout the day the easier it will get, your brain will respond faster and it will become automatic.

Leave a comment and let me know how you get on.

Kate Strong is a psychic/healer and specialises in Soul Healing and Relationship Readings. Please contact her at http://www.katestrong.com/

Original article

Delegating Secrets - 7 Immediate Benefits of Delegating Tasks to Capable Others

Delegating tasks is a vital option if you find yourself doing the juggling act between your family, housework and work life. If you feel like you're carrying the world on your shoulders, it's time to consider other options for you to begin to offload some of these responsibilities.

In this article we'll look at 7 immediate benefits of delegating tasks to capable others and suggest some options for doing so.

Benefit #1 - Releases stress

Being pulled in too many directions is bound to have you feeling stressed, especially when you have deadlines to meet. There's only 24 hours in a day and you can only do so much within that time including having downtime for yourself. Don't compromise your health.

Benefit #2 - Releases overwhelm

Feeling like something's squeezing your brain when you think about all the things that you need to get done? Being overwhelmed leads to stress and shuts down creativity and motivation. Delegating tasks provides an avenue for your mind to be at ease.

Benefit #3 - Relaxes you

Feeling knotted up with frustration? Once you delegate some of your tasks you'll begin to feel more relaxed and not so tense all the time.

Benefit #4 - More free time, more fun time

Delegating the tasks that consumed most of your time will now give you more time to focus on doing the things you do enjoy as well as incorporate more fun time into your life. The more time you spend on doing things that do enjoy, the more fulfilled life becomes.

Benefit #5 - Opens the flow of creativity

As you delegate your tasks to others, in your relaxed state, you open the flow of creativity. You begin to see new and more productive ways of doing things which you hadn't seen before because you were too bugged down with too many things on your plate.

Benefit #6 - Get more done in less time

Assigning tasks to one or two other people will allow you to get more done in less time. You'll have your personal team working with you therefore getting things done quickly and more efficiently, saving you not only time but also money.

Benefit #7 - You get the benefit of other people's talents

Delegating tasks allows you to benefit from other people's talents without you having to go learn it all or do it all yourself. As a matter of fact it gives you a chance to improve in the areas you're really good at while giving others a chance to enhance their skills as well.

What are some options you can use to help you delegate your tasks? Here are a few:

- Your child/children

- neighbour's child

- friend

- college/university student

- freelancer

By the way, if you'd like to learn more simple yet effective ways to become self-empowered so you can change your life, I'd like to invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to Changing Inside Out Now! The Power of Unconditional Love and get additional practical life-changing tips and steps to change your life from the inside out when you visit http://www.changinginsideoutnow.com/ez1.

From: Alicia Isaacs - Changing Inside Out Now!

Original article

Stress and Your Health

In my last article, I talked about "stress stupidity" and how it causes us to make mistakes and lose time. It actually does more than that:

A recently released Yale University study, published online the week of January 9, 2012, in the journal Biological Psychiatry, shows that stress causes the brain to shrink because the stress hormones eat away at brain tissue, literally making holes in your brain.

One highly-stressful episode, such as our remote ancestors suffered when they ran from ravenous beasts, doesn't necessarily produce the "holes in the brain" phenomenon. Instead, it's the steady daily diet of stress with which many people live in the 21st century that causes the problem.

This steady onslaught of stress, which may be low-level but persistent, is similar to drops of water dripping onto stone: a slow wearing down.

Lack of focus, concentration problems, inability to set priorities, and difficulty in making decisions are more behavioral signs that signal the presence of "stress stupidity." The very qualities that we need in order to be successful in life are impaired; you may come to believe that there is no way out of your stressful life.

Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman describes this psychological state as "learned helplessness"; the inability to find the "way out" of your dilemmas. Not only do your problem-solving skills suffer, but so does your motivation.

The dogs in his initial experiment, who were given shocks that they could not escape, and were then put in a box where there was an escape route, failed to see the escape route, even when shown! They simply lay down and absorbed repeated shocks.

"Learned helplessness" has been identified as a psychological pattern associated with many of the most severe illnesses. It does not start as a result of the illness; it is in place years before the illness develops.

Here are some ways to avoid developing learned helplessness.

Take frequent mini-breaks during the day during which you take a deep breath and ask yourself, "In the long run, what really matters here?"

When you make mistakes, learn to laugh at yourself instead of getting more stressed. Use the phrase "Stress makes you stupid."

And when you feel blocked, say to yourself, "There is a solution. I just can't see it right now."

Then take a break, take a walk, talk to a friend, spend a few minutes planning to do something special for yourself later on. Because a brain is a terrible thing to lose.

Lynette Crane, M.A.(Psychology) and Certified Life Coach,is a Minneapolis-based speaker, writer, and coach. She has more than 30 years' experience in the field of stress management. She currently works to provide stress and time pressure solutions to harried women, those women who seek "Islands of Peace" in their overly-busy lives. Her talks to groups of what she calls "harried women" are receiving rave reviews. Visit her website at http://www.creativelifechanges.com/ to see more in-depth articles and to view her programs.

Original article

Stress Relief Online Games - The Best Way to Burst Stress

In today's world stress has become part and parcel of everybody's life. It is creating a lot of mental and physical problems. Unfortunately, most of us are not able to control our daily stress levels. If you are also one of them, I have some good ideas for you. A lot of things are available to relieve stress but best of them is playing stress relief games. This is the easiest and the most entertaining method of managing stress and anxiety.

So many techniques can be used to relieve stress such as comic shows, laughter therapy, jokes, indoor games, outdoor games and computer games. One thing you must keep in mind is that these games should not be played with the spirit of winning or losing. You should play with the goal of reducing your stress and anxiety.

All games are good stress relievers but computer games are trendier as we are getting more digitalized day by day. There are countless stress relief games available on the internet.

One of them is Stress Reducer Desktop Destroyer. This is the simplest, oldest and the most popular game. In this game you can choose any one out of the nine weapons (shooting, burning, smashing etc.) to destroy your computer desktop. This game is a good antidote for stress. After relieving your stress you can go on with your daily tasks.

One more game that you can choose to control your stress levels is the Sudoku Online. The internet offers a wide range of Sudoku puzzles; you can choose any one according to your interests. Definitely it will help you to reduce your stress to a great level. Sudoku is the most popular Japanese Mind puzzle game all over the world.

Another stress relief game is Paintball Online. You can play it as an outdoor game also but everybody is so tensed and is not interested to play it as an outdoor game. Everybody prefers to play it online. Playing it online is cheaper and time saving. With Paintball Online, you shoot your rivals until your stress is relieved. It relaxes your mind for the time being. It will divert your mind from the strains you have to face regularly.

Apart from these you can try many other stress relief games for a relaxing and wonderful day. Attempt the different games and choose the best to suppress your stress. So, play and enjoy.

If you are looking for more information regarding Stress Relief Games then feel free to visit Desktop Destroyer

Original article

5 Tips for Preventing Social Media Burnout

Making the decision to add social media to your marketing plan was a good one. There's no question that it's a smart, cost-efficient method for creating awareness, attracting a loyal following, building a solid customer base and boosting sales. Businesses everywhere are quick to attest to its success. But now that you've jumped into the social media pool with both feet, how do you keep from getting overwhelmed by the added responsibility of maintaining your calendar and keeping your content both current and effective?

Take a deep breath and discover these five ways to maintain your focus and keep from getting stressed out about your social media schedule.

1. Less is more. There are many social media networks out there and the numbers are growing all the time. Choose just a few based on your audience and your business goals. Managing a couple of networks on a regular basis is much more effective than spreading yourself too thin - or even worse - quitting because you simply can't keep up.

2. Create a content calendar. Planning a social media calendar helps you feel better organized and more in control of your publishing efforts. Don't try and plan months in advance. Every two weeks is more easily manageable and won't force ideas that might be off-topic or bring no value to your audience.

3. Utilize the tools of the trade. Discover social marketing tools that allow you to manage multiple networks simultaneously. HootSuite and TweetDeck are just a couple of tools that were designed to help you create efficiencies and provide an analysis of the effectiveness of your efforts.

4. Get away from it all. Maintain a healthy social media balance by not becoming an online junkie. You'll keep your message content fresh and more relevant when you take a few steps back and stay open to new ideas.

5. Have fun. Social media allows you to make an impression through your insights, connections and offerings. When you look like you're having fun, people will gravitate to your message and success will follow.

Watch how your contemporaries are managing their social media presence, too. You may want to model your strategy and style after other businesses and organizations you admire. Just remember, not every message you deliver is going to result in a home run. But as you become more and more familiar with the medium, you won't feel so overwhelmed by the process, and soon you'll discover that being social is really a great way to do business.

© 2012 Holly Anthony

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Holly Anthony is the founder of Office Moxie, a company dedicated and passionate about helping clients create an online presence through social media, email marketing, WordPress Websites and blogs. To learn more about how Holly and the team at Office Moxie can help you make the most of your online marketing strategy, visit their website and sign up for the free Office Moxie ezine at Office Moxie.

Original article

Live a Worry-Free Life

Worrying means investing time thinking about bad things and being preoccupied with negative opportunities. The more you worry, the larger your problems become. You may even find yourself worrying about all the time you've spent worrying. Some people worry a lot more than others, and sometimes to the point where it becomes a problem in itself.

It's normal to worry occasionally. Given that daily there are many unknowns and problems. Worry could be considered a natural reaction to many situations. But serious and all-consuming worry can be troublesome and interfere with our ability to function freely and calmly in our life. Furthermore, worry can make the recovery from panic disorder or agoraphobia more difficult.

Helpful suggestions to reduce your worrying thoughts:

Prevent Foretelling the Future

When you find yourself worrying about an upcoming event because you are imagining a bad result, it's like you are saying that you can predict the future. But the fact is, you can't, and you are worrying about what may occur, not what will occur. Worry itself provides no objective unless it spurs a plan.

Analyze the Risk

If your mind has been taken over by serious worry, your risk analysis abilities may be altered. You may even find yourself absorbed with worry about upcoming opportunities when there is not any real proof that the adverse occurrence will actually come to pass. For example, perhaps you regularly worry about your job efficiency and worry about being fired, but you have obtained no sign from your manager or anyone else that you're not performing well. Looking at your situation realistically may help you reduce your worry.

Set a Time for Worry

Some people find it helpful to schedule half an hour each day just to worry. If concerning ideas creep their way in at any other periods, put them aside by informing yourself you have a planned time to worry. Your objective is to worry only during your planned 30 minutes of time.

Recognize and Change Worrisome Thoughts

Write down your worrisome and distressful ideas. Along side each concerning thought, list some good alternative claims.

Practice Relaxation Techniques

By learning and practicing relaxation methods, you will be able to reduce invasive worry. Some methods that might help are muscle relaxation, deep breathing, meditation, guided imagery, and journaling.

Make a Decision

For anyone worrying about an unresolved personal or business issue - then it's time to decide. Once you are decided on what to do, you can start making plans for the best possible result.

Count your Blessings

You have a lot to be thankful for. We live in a wonderful world. You can be thankful for your health, your family, your job, your mind, your house and your country.

Endless worry can consume our lives and rob us of our happiness. The most effective strategy to reduce worries will differ between individuals. So the best factor you can do to is try many different methods and techniques until you discover one or several that works. The main factor is to continually use them until a new behavior becomes a habit.

Leo H.L. is a stop worrying expert. For more great information on stop worrying and start living, visit http://www.techniquestostopworrying.com/

Original article

The Best Ways To Relieve Stress At Home

If you are like most people, you suffer from daily stress from various things such as a job and other demands. Life can be absolutely draining and if you do not take actions to combat the stress, you are asking for trouble. Many people continue to live through the stress and just assume that since everyone endures it, it's OK. However, you must do something to relieve this before it catches up to you by deteriorating your health.

One of the best ways to relieve stress in your life is through consistent meditation. Meditation is a great way to get rid of any negative energy you may be holding onto and replace it with more peaceful thoughts and feelings. Of course, many people look at meditation and assume they have to sit still for hours and sing weird chants. However, it's nothing like this at all. In fact, a daily ritual of performing a 10 minute meditation session is one of the best medicines available.

If meditation is not for you, you may consider other options available such as massage therapy, exercise and spending time in a sauna. It's a well-known fact that the heat of a sauna can relieve all kinds of ailments and is great for flushing toxins from the body caused from stress and other factors. You can easily find a portable sauna that will allow you to do this in your home without spending lots of money or going to a gym.

Perhaps the best way to relieve all stress is to practice breathing exercises along with positive affirmations. All too often, we get consumed with stress and take on a negative outlook on everything. It's during these times that we need to slow down, take deep breaths and turn our thoughts around before they get out of control. Positive affirmations will keep you looking at the glass half full instead of seeing the bad in everything.

Stress is inevitable in the world we live in but it doesn't have to consume your life. You can choose to be stressed out or you can choose to be at peace in all that you do. Stress is a matter of thinking so if you can train your mind to avoid stressful situations, you will not have to deal with it as much. Take charge of the stress in your life before it's too late and you find yourself dealing with health problems associated with it.

Make your life easier by choosing to eliminate stress from your life. Having a portable sauna in your home can give you a place to enjoy the stress relieving benefits that a sauna can provide. Learn more by visiting our website at http://www.portablesaunas.net/.

Original article

Do You Know Your Value?

Garage sales are generally not a good business idea, unless you're that person getting things on the cheap and putting them up on eBay for ten times the price.

And yet, we held a garage sale a couple of weekends ago.

They're a lot of work for little return. Making $200 for two 10 hour days of work is just a bit above minimum wage...but not when there were two of us working!

But somehow working this hard has a psychological benefit of getting rid of things that you have held on to past the point you should have. Things that no longer hold any value to you.

Then there is another non-financial value of seeing people light up when they find something they want or need at a great price! It adds value to where there may not have been any.

The whole experience certainly made me think about value and pricing, especially when I was exhausted, cold and just wondering why we were doing this.

You see, whether you are looking for a job, seeking a promotion or pricing your services to a customer as an entrepreneur, how you price yourself for the value you provide is always a tricky and complicated matter. Especially if all you are thinking about is the price instead of value.

My daughter reminded me of this when after the garage sale was finished I asked her how she enjoyed it. She said that she didn't.

When I asked her why, she went on to say that she didn't feel like she had done any important work since no shopper had given her any attention by asking for a price or for any help. She felt passed over and unimportant. Then she went on to say, "and I would have had to ask you anyway, so what would be the point?"

My response surprised her.

I said, "First, if you had told people that you were there to help, they probably would have asked you some questions. Secondly, if you did go and find me to find the answer they were looking for, then they would have had more time to shop. You would be doing something for them that they now didn't have to do themselves. That would have been very helpful"

What I described to her was how to create value.

Finding the value that you offer allows you to price yourself effectively.

Unfortunately, people often first think about price, without fully understanding their value proposition. Pricing yourself without fully understanding the value you create can lead you to give away too much or to overprice yourself out of an opportunity.

When marketing your services to an employer or a customer, you can't disregard price as part of your overall brand, since a brand is based on an economic exchange, but you always need to put it into the context of the value you are creating for your target market.

For my daughter, understanding that people who are shopping at a garage sale prefer looking and digging vs. constantly asking for prices can create an opportunity for her to deliver against. Finding a place in which to add value.

This could have provided her with the important work she was looking for... even if she wasn't yet naming her price!

So, will I do another garage sale? Probably.

Why?

Because value is more than just a price paid or in this case the money earned for the time spent. For me, there was enough non-monetary value created to offset working for less than minimum wage.

Especially since it provided a meaningful teaching moment for my daughter!

So, what about you? Do you know your value?

Find the ways that you create value both financially and non-monetarily to get a better understanding of your true value and it won't be such a tricky and complicated manner determining your price.

Laura Lopez is a performance strategist, leadership specialist and branding expert with more than 20 years of corporate leadership experience. Laura's book, The Connected and Committed Leader, is available via her Web site at, at your local bookstore or on http://www.amazon.com/. As the owner of her own business, Laura helps companies and business associations achieve more sustainable business results through the power of leveraging diverse talent with effective leadership and branding. She is available for speeches, workshops and customized programs. Laura can be contacted via her Web site at: http://www.laura-lopez.com/.

Original article