If you looked up to working mom Kate Redding as a role model, (Kate is played by Sarah Jessica Parker in the film I don't know how she does it), I suspect you'd come to the conclusion that work-life balance is a pipe dream. Kate does a fantastic job taking on responsibility for everything and everyone, leaving little time to do anything for herself. Just watching the film tired me out! But does it have to be that way? Are there no alternatives if you decide on a career AND a family?
At a recent women's networking event I was horrified when I heard that one of top tips for getting ahead was to "work harder than your male colleagues, partner, husband, or brother." Really? Is this what we are teaching the up and coming women in business today? Aren't we creating this burden for ourselves by promulgating such superwoman behavior? It's not about working harder. It's about working smarter and focusing on a few critical things that matter in building a career. Since we're not superwomen, we're only humans, promoting such behavior as goal surely results in a lack of work-life balance.
Work-life balance is NOT a pipe dream, but there are 3 key ingredients which are often overlooked in making this aspiration a reality:
1. Keep yourself motivated and challenged
WorkingMothers.com 2010 survey Career vs Paycheck revealed that a working mother was happy in all aspects of her life when she had a high level of job satisfaction. It's worth noting that job satisfaction was highly correlated to a meaningful career or job - it wasn't just about the money. Once we lose the buzz we get from our careers, the whole work-life dynamic falls apart.
How many women do you know who come back from maternity leave, feel side-lined, and subsequently give up. "What's the point?" they begin to wonder. If they're going to leave precious little ones in someone else's care, the job has got to turn them on. I remember one day when my elderly neighbor saw me coming home from work and how amazed she seemed that I was chirpy and energetic after such a long day in the city. The secret? I felt challenged in my corporate career - the things I was learning made life very interesting.
2. Map out a routine for maximizing your individual level of performance
Organize your easy and tough tasks and challenges around those peak performance times. Tackle the tough challenges when you feel at your best. For me it's the first thing in the morning. My confidence and patience levels are up and my head is clear.
I learned this by trial and error and being aware of how productive I was (or not as the case may be) at which times. There's a key piece missing here. In order to be at your peak at work, you also need to figure out how much exercise and other activity you need to do (and how to make it happen) to keep your enthusiasm up at work. What do you really like to do in your personal time that re-energises you. There's so much focus on time management. It's misplaced. We need to be focusing on managing our energy rather than our time.
3. Think Like a Business Owner
Point 2 leads really nicely into this point. At the end of the day, what does a good manager really care about? That's right, performance. I recently gave a talk about how important it is to invest and enrich in both the personal and professional dimensions of our lives, highlighting that it's having both parts that can help you achieve optimal performance in each. Huh? Simply put, by having a varied life you avoid getting burned out, whether it's caring for an elderly parent, hyper kids or a demanding career.
Dipping in out of both lives makes you appreciate each life and the benefits it brings. At the end of my talk an eager member of the audience asked, "But Christine, if I tell my boss how important my personal life is, he or she won't get it, they won't care." I replied, "Well your boss may or may not care, but that's not the point. As your manager, your boss expects you to organize your life so you can be at your best. That's YOUR responsibility. Your boss wants to know where you are on your projects."
The best rule of thumb to use when thinking about how to blend our increasingly complex professional and personal lives is to think like a business owner. A business owner wants you to be as productive as you can and to manage your life to achieve this. Working 24 x 7, losing your enthusiasm, creativity and motivation isn't good for you and it's not good for the business.
Work-life balance is not a pipe dream. Like anything though, you've got to be strategic and focus on the most important parts or you'll get lost in the detail.
As a former MD in Fixed Income, wife and mother of three Christine offers practical strategies on how to get the most out of your work and life. Her recently published book 'Step Aside Super Woman: Career & Family is for Any Woman' offers time-tested advice on how to create work-life balance. She is an accomplished international speaker and has been featured by the London Evening Standard, Women in Banking & Finance Magazine, Computer Weekly, WDRC 1360 AM, and many others.
Christine Brown-Quinn together with her business partner Jacqueline Frost are firm believers in sharing their hard-earned success strategies with professional business women. With over 40 years' combined business experience in the financial services industry, they established Women in Business Superseries to response to the challenges that many women still face in the current business environment. To join as a guest on the next Women in Business webinar, email christine@wibconsulting.com
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