Are You Getting Enough Sleep?

I realised as I got into bed at 12:30 am that I've been slacking on my bedtime.

Yes, I'm a night owl so my natural tendency is to work late because my brain is most awake then.

However, I work full-time so I don't have the luxury of totally living in tune with my body clock.

I used to have a rule about my bedtime and, to be honest, it still exists. I'm just not following it all that well.

I like to be sleeping by 12 so I need to be in bed by 11 since I read for an hour every night - bliss!

And here's my rule - computer off by 10:30.

I found I'd be getting to bed at least 30 minutes later when I didn't enforce my computer rule because I forgot about tidying the desk, doing my bedtime routine, etc.

So my question to you is this - are you getting enough sleep?

Most adults don't get enough sleep and we're all functioning (or not) at below-par levels of productivity and simply, life enjoyment.

Sleep helps our bodies to work better, helps us with weight loss when we're trying to lose weight and of course, helps us rest and recharge from day to day.

I need 7 hours of good sleep a night. On the weekends I get an extra hour and sometimes even an afternoon nap with my two-year-old twins.

Do you know how much sleep you need?

The other day Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project, wrote a post asking about bedtimes.

She said something interesting in that once you set a bedtime (we now know mine is 11 or 12, depending how you look at it), if you ignore that bedtime, you're then consciously choosing to do what you were doing instead of going to bed.

I love it!

So here's a coaching challenge for you:

- What is your wake-up time?

- Work back at least 7 hours. That is the time you have to be asleep by.

- How long do you need before falling asleep? Subtract the amount of hours.

- Also subtract time for your bedtime routine - face, teeth, reading, etc.

- For the next week, set an alarm or reminder in your phone or computer that says "go to bed".

- Keep track of your productivity the following day as you start getting enough sleep.

Marcia Francois is a time management coach and speaker who inspires busy women to break out of overwhelm, make the most of their time and take purposeful and focussed action so they have the time and freedom to live life to the full. Visit http://purposefultimemanagement.com/ for your free Time Management Purpose Pack.

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Women in Business: Getting to Grips With the Guilt Trip

How can you possibly have a career and a personal life and not feel guilty that someone is getting short changed? Is it a no win situation which just can't be resolved? Sorry for the cliche, but it's actually a win-win situation.

First, let's take a look at your personal life. You have a lot of commitments, right? But isn't this what makes you feel connected to this earth? Commitments are a good thing - you may have a commitment to a sports team, a local school, a charity or a family matter. These commitments take you away from work, both mentally and physically. (Again, this is also a good thing which I'll come back to later). Your instinct is that your priorities are in the right place, but you still feel guilty leaving clients or colleagues with unfinished business.

Now let's take a look at your professional life. You are no doubt enjoying the challenge and collaboration of working with other adults. Knowing you, I bet you're really throwing yourself into the new job, the new role, or project. But I hear you. You're telling me that despite this job satisfaction you still do experience that tinge (or on a bad day, that pang) of guilt that you should be home having a glass of wine with your partner or reading that bedtime story with your kids.

Well, if it's any consolation we've all been there. The point is you're not alone and it's not personal - it's part of the human predicament. It's part of what defines us and you've got to stop beating yourself up about it. It's not your fault, so there's absolutely no reason why you should feel guilty!

Kate Redding, the working mom played by Sarah Jessica Parker in the film I don't know how she does it, demonstrates beautifully that so much of the guilt we experience is self-imposed. We set unrealistic expectations of what we can achieve - whether that be at home or at work. Kate seems to feel guilty about everything and as a result she seems almost scatter-brained and unfocused in almost every situation. Her guilt seems to be driving her to be uber human. (She really stoops low when she dresses up a store-bought cake as homemade for the school bake sale. She doesn't want her kids to feel like she's contributing less than the other mothers. Oh, please!). In a way we set ourselves up for feeling a sense of failure, a sense of guilt, because we can't meet a pie in the sky expectation.

Ok, so although you buy into my logic, you're still not over it.

Here's the real key to getting to grips with the guilt trip. What you have to realize is that it's because of your personal life (rather than in spite of!) that you're a better professional, a better business person. People like to deal with other people. The unique approach, values and integrity you bring to the work environment are your greatest contributions. Your uniqueness comes from your personal life, your upbringing and your personal experiences. Also having a personal life pulls you away from work - it saves you from burn-out (I saw plenty of this in my corporate life!). It allows you to break away and recharge your battery, which of course makes you more productive in the long run. Ever notice how much easier something feels once you've had that mental break?

Fine, I get all that, but I still feel guilty about not spending enough time with my partner. I feel guilty about leaving the kids. Did you ever think about how your professional life makes you an interesting person - how it broadens your perspective? Have you ever thought about how your professional life enables you to support your partner's career (you realize just how tough it is out there in the real world!). So many skills and qualities that you apply in your personal life have actually been developed in your work life. You've got it - your professional life makes you a better person - you as a partner, daughter, friend or mother. You can help your relatives and close friends get out of those tricky situations because you solve problems at work all day long!

Bottom line? Although you want perfection, just focusing on that one thing doesn't get you there either. Once you accept that you can't possibly be everywhere and do everything, and also accept that it's the varied dimensions in your life that might it worth living, you're well on the road to recovery. No more guilt. Time to enjoy life's variety!

As a former MD in Fixed Income, wife and mother of three Christine offers practical strategies on how to get the most out of your work and life. Her recently published book 'Step Aside Super Woman: Career & Family is for Any Woman' offers time-tested advice on how to create work-life balance. She is an accomplished international speaker and has been featured by the London Evening Standard, Women in Banking & Finance Magazine, Computer Weekly, WDRC 1360 AM, and many others.

Christine is also a big believer in sharing her hard-earned success strategies with professional business women which is why she set up the Women in Business Superseries with her business partner Jacqueline Frost. After 40 years' combined experience in the professional services industry, Christine & Jacqueline want to pass on what you really need to know to get ahead in business - it's about YOUR career & YOUR success. To join as a guest on the next Women in Business webinar, email christine@wibconsulting.com.

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How Getting My Car Stolen Liberated Me

When my car was stolen, about twenty years ago, I also lost a few possessions that just happened to be in the boot (trunk) at the time. The biggest loss to me was my briefcase because it contained a folder that held all of my professional qualifications.

You know they say that every cloud has a silver lining? Well, what I wanted to mention in this post was two benefits that came about through me losing that briefcase.

The first benefit was the loss of my Lemmings codes. At the time, there was an incredible addictive computer game called Lemmings. At least, it was addictive to me because I love problem-solving. As I recall there were forty problems to solve. The basic idea was that you had to rescue these little lemmings who were intent on walking over a cliff. You had various resources at your disposal and you were required to save a percentage of them.

What happens in the game is, after you solve each problem, you get a more difficult one. They are more difficult because you have to save more lemmings with less available resources. After you had worked your way through the entire forty problems, you moved up to level 2 where you got forty more problems to solve. Level 2 was much more challenging than level 1 and, you guessed it, after you have competed level 2, you moved up to the next level. There were four levels in all.

So that you did not have to start at the beginning each time you started the game, you were given a code when you completed each problem. When you next started the game, you could enter that code and pick up from where you left off. I was about half way through the final level when my car was stolen.

It had taken me weeks of perseverance to get to that point and there was no way I was going to repeat the effort. With some problems, even after you had the right answer, you also had to get the timing right, and it could take a long time to do that. So there was the first benefit of losing that briefcase - I was finally liberated from the compulsion that I felt to finish that infuriating game.

The second benefit related to the loss of my professional qualifications. One day, after the theft, probably when we were moving house, I came across another old folder. It contained all of my school certificates from when I was a child through to leaving school. I read them with interest and a little nostalgia. What did they say? William can do very good work when he bothers to try - that kind of thing.

So was I, thinking that one day, my kids would be looking through all the junk I will have left behind me and they would read all this nonsense about how lazy their dad had been and they would not find the other folder that showed how well he had eventually managed to apply himself in life. It did not seem like a good deal to me.

So, I took them outside and put them on top of a little burner we had prepared that was loaded with a few sticks. With the flick of a match, the whole thing came to life and I stood there and watched the dry old papers burn. It gave me a great deal of satisfaction to watch those misplaced opinions of my old teachers go up in smoke. It was very cathartic.

Since then, I completed my degree, have improved my professional qualifications and have become a member of a professional body, so I now have another folder that is probably a bit fatter than the old one, so there will be some more interesting reading for my kids when the time eventually comes and, of course, I don't keep that folder in my briefcase.

So I wanted to finish by saying that I think it is true that sometimes we do receive something of real value from negative events that befall us. If you are going through a tough time at the moment, perhaps you can start looking for the silver lining. It may well be there even if it does not seem to be at first.

If you enjoyed this article, you will also enjoy The Inspiration Blog

Will Edwards is Founder of http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/

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Top Ten Tips For Getting Rid Of Exam Stress

1. Choose A Suitable Place Of Study
It is important to find a place of study that you are comfortable with, and where there are no distractions. Many people, particularly mature students with families and responsibilities, find it difficult to study at home, where demands from husband or wife and children can get in the way of academic work. The place of study you choose should be somewhere you are comfortable with and where you can work quietly with minimum distraction. Ideally this place should solely be used for study, so that you do not associate other activities with this environment. This is important because simply by entering the study room or area, signals are automatically sent to the subconscious mind that you are preparing to study and your subconscious will prepare you for the processes of concentration and memorizing your material. It is vital that you rest the mind at least 10 minutes every hour, so look to leaving your study area when you do this and spend time doing something that takes your mind away from study, for example, making a cup of tea or taking a walk in the garden. It is also useful to allocate a certain time for study and to stick to this time everyday.

2. Concentrate On The Material You Need To Learn
It is important to focus solely on the material that you need to learn in order to pass your exam. Many of us lose focus and start reading material that we may find interesting but which has no relevance to what we will be tested upon. Make a list of revision targets before each study session and stick to these. Improve your concentration through relaxing yourself before you begin to study. You can do this by taking a few slow, deep breaths, concentrating only on the 'in breath' and the 'out breath', acknowledging any thoughts that arise, thanking them and then letting them float away like balloons.

3. Avoid Putting Too Much Pressure On Yourself
This is a common problem associated with exam failure or underperformance. If you are a perfectionist you will probably put too much pressure on yourself to achieve well. This will in turn, increase the amount of anxiety and stress in your mind and body which will be detrimental to your study routines, lowering concentration and memory retention capabilities, and ultimately leading to poor, anxious ridden, performance in the exam itself. In order to maximize concentration and memory retention you need to lose the anxiety behind trying to be perfect and aim for something lower and more realistic as a target. Sometimes it is sufficient just to get through an exam, without worrying about breaking any records of achievement.

4. Get Rid Of Any Negative Emotions That Stop You From Studying
Fear of failure is a massive barrier to efficient revision and should be dealt with before starting any successful study regime. A good way to achieve this is to take a few deep breaths and picture a white cloud somewhere in the distance. Spend a few minutes filling the cloud with any negative thoughts you may have about learning new material or fears about failure, until the cloud is black with all negative thoughts filling it. Next picture a bright sun behind the cloud, gradually growing larger until the black cloud disappears. The sun represents your confident, positive self and shows you that you are now ready to study.

5. Learn To Focus The Mind Through Breathing
Relax before each session by taking slow deep breaths, focusing on the 'in breath' and 'out breath' as you do so. Acknowledge any thoughts that arise, thank them and then picture them floating away like balloons. Doing this exercise a few minutes before starting to study should focus the mind on the task ahead, while also relaxing the body. Focus on relaxing all your muscles as you continue with the breathing exercise.

6. Sleep On It
How many of us have stayed up all night, cramming before an exam, only to find that our recall becomes muddled and inconsistent when we start the actual examination? A little revision often is much better than cramming. Also it is recommended that you get a good night's sleep after revising, and before the exam the next day. This is because it takes time for your brain to organize all the information you need to know correctly and to make the correct associations between this information and any imagery, for example, that you may have used in order to boost your memory retention. View your mind as containing a library of information at your fingertips - if you cram information you don't allow the library assistant in your mind enough time to place each bit of information on the correct shelf in the correct aisle.

7. Let Go Of Stress And Tension Before Your Exam
You can take the above breathing exercises with you as you enter the examination room, focusing on taking deep, refreshing breaths of air as you sit down in front of the desk. In this way you prepare yourself for maximum performance, just like a sprinter gathers him/herself before exploding off the blocks.

8. Breathe Deeply And Relax Your Muscles
Once again, a reference to the importance of breathing. Because you have associated slow, deep breathing with relaxing your muscles (see Tip 5 above), your muscles should automatically relax as soon as you take in a deep breath. Focus lovingly on any muscle groups that are tense and picture them smooth and relaxed. Also, if you have any butterflies, focus lovingly on the muscles of your stomach, making them loose and relaxed and letting go of your butterflies.

9. Read Through Each Question Before You Begin
Don't start writing straight away. Read through each question before you begin the exam. The questions may not make any sense to you but don't worry - trust in your subconscious to make available to you the correct and appropriate information for each answer. Once you have read through all the questions, you are ready to begin writing the answers down.

10. Let Your Knowledge Flow Out Of You
Don't try too hard to access the information from the library in your brain. It will flow out of you naturally as you begin to write your first answer. Once this flow of knowledge dries up, move onto the next question and once more allow the flow of information to surface. Once you have gone through all the questions, check your answers and relax.

Enjoy taking exams like never before!

Mark Spalek is a Clinical Hypnotherapist and NLP Practitioner with his own practice based in Leicester, UK. Mark is registered with the General Hypnotherapy Register (validated by the General Hypnotherapy Standards Council) and adheres to its strict Code of Ethics. He is continually driving his therapeutic techniques forward through innovation, research and dedication. Mark also produces an excellent range of self-hypnosis CD's for clients who cannot make it to his office and also offers remote therapy through Skype for clients around the world.

http://www.hypnotherapy-in-leicester.co.uk/

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